Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Book Review: The Art of Doing Nothing: Simple Ways to Make Time for Yourself

It should not have taken me this long to review this book. Or even read this book, for God's sake. But as Yoda would say, A long time it did indeed take me. Clocking in at ninety-one pages, a speed reader could easily breeze through this little book in half an hour, while someone with a more leisurely bent might need an hour or perhaps two, but certainly not two weeks, as it did me.

Veronique Vienne knows how to take a mundane experience such as, say, bathing and craft an entire chapter on it. As one would linger over a tub of bubbles and aromatic bath gels, so she meanders through the pages, stopping here and there to focus on a particularly sensuous moment of an otherwise prosaic activity, maybe zeroing in on the way the water beads on one's skin or perhaps the sound of the faucet as it drips onto the otherwise placid, thin surface. In The Art of Doing Nothing: Simple Ways to Make Time for Yourself, Vienne invites the reader into a quiet meditation on everything from aromatherapy to -- of all things -- yawning. (Sigh. I'm yawning just writing that word.)

Is it any wonder it took me two weeks to read the book? I would read a page or two, drop the book open on my lap, close my eyes, and drift into a waking reverie. I'd think about sunny afternoons when I was a kid, hanging out with my cousins on the beach near my grandfather's house on the island of Mindoro, in the Philippines. I'd remember so vividly what it was like to lay still on the wide verandah that wrapped around his front porch, especially around two in the afternoon when the entire village would be tucked inside the cool darkness of their homes, sleeping away the heat and brilliant light of the day.

See? I'm doing it again.

I'll admit that on occasion Vienne's habit of stretching a metaphor can be tiring, and I was more than a little annoyed when she wrote thus in the chapter on the art of lounging:

Some of the best thinking we do happens when the conscious mind is on a sabbatical.
Isaac Newton figured out the law of universal gravitation when sitting under a tree.
Ben Franklin invented the lightning rod while flying a kite.
Thomas Edison came up with the lightbulb filament while idly rolling kerosene residue between his fingers.
Albert Einstein pondered the riddle of the universe with a cat on his lap.
I've no doubt that these extraordinary gentlemen had their moments of leisure, but Ms. Vienne is mistaken if she thinks that these particular examples illustrate the mind at rest coming up with that so-called Eureka! moment. For one thing, Franklin didn't fly kites as a hobby or because he had nothing better to do but because he was conducting experiments specifically dealing with electricity and had decided that flying a kite during a lightning storm would be the best way to determine if lightning did indeed produce electric charges. (In fact, numerous studies suggest that Franklin never actually performed such a potentially dangerous experiment.)

Likewise, Newton wasn't on holiday -- mentally or otherwise -- when he came up with his ideas regarding gravitational force while observing an apple fall from a tree. In his own writings and those of others who had discussed the subject with him, the anecdote always describes him as being in a contemplative mood, thinking deeply about the subject rather than simply idly standing around aimlessly.

Elsewhere in the book, she also stumbles a bit when she discusses meditation:
The meditation exercises championed by all spiritual teachers, from traditional masters to self-styled gurus, are never the cure-alls they promise to b. They are too exacting for an average person with a minor-league attention span. In all likelihood, only a handful of disciples can really practice what their teachers preach.
If you knew anything about meditation, however, you would understand that it's meant precisely for those with minor-league -- or even Little League or PeeWee League -- attention spans. That's the whole point of the practice of meditation, after all, to teach one to focus. That's why it's called practice, not perfection. Some people take to it like the proverbial ducks to water, but the vast, vast majority of us might spend our entire lives reaching the point where we can spend more than fifteen seconds focusing on, well, nothing. Meditation will always be a work in progress. The benefits come from actually doing it, not from achieving anything in particular. The practice is the end, not the means.

Vienne does an excellent job of pointing out the simple beauty of life itself and how much we miss by rushing about, always living for the future rather than enjoying the present, but some of her examples indicate a rather lazy approach to research. As a journalist myself, I see in her the very common tendency for many of my colleagues to succumb to that sin of knowing just a little about everything but very little about any one thing. Still, maybe she's simply being her own best test case. After all, this is a book about doing nothing.

Most of the time, however, she shines in her languid approach to life, her thoughts on napping (which I definitely need to do more of), yawning (there I go again), listening, tasting, and waiting. I especially loved that last chapter on waiting and her musings on the nature of time. Time has always been a subject of utter fascination for me, both the scientific and the philosophical definition of it. I never seem to have enough, and yet at certain times (say, when I'm waiting for an editor to approve my proposal or for my plane to finally start boarding after an interminable overnight layover in a place like Bombay International Airport) time's elasticity plays tricks on me. It stretches into the infinite, and then everything grinds to a halt: the people sitting near me, the clock ticking overhead, the TV around the corner. In that space out of time (or time out of space?) -- and airports are especially notorious for this -- life really does exist in a void.

So go forth and read this book, but please remember: Do not operate heavy machinery or moving vehicles while reading this book, as it may cause severe drowsiness. You have been forewarned.

Love Finds a Way

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Brains over Beauty, Part 2

Am I the only one around here who's feeling really...really...reeeeaaallllly lazy of late? Maybe it's the 100+ F degree weather we poor Texans have been suffering the last week or so, making me wonder what the heck I was thinking when I thought it would be a good idea for us to move back here from Colorado. I know of people who flee to Colorado this time of year to escape this awful heat, and yet we chose to go against the crowd -- literally speaking -- and move back here. Ugh.

Yesterday I wrote about what I seriously dislike about books targeting Francophiles, especially the women among us who devour books by the likes of Mireille Guiliano and Helena Frith Powell. Nothing against these fine writers -- I love them both and would buy any book they publish -- but I really do have a beef against those who elevate French women to goddess stature while simultaneously making American women feel like fat cows. Since Independence Day is just days away, it's especially unseemly to me to be so unpatriotic (and I realize that that's been a loaded word the past decade) as to think of American women as somehow inferior to others -- yes, even French women -- just because we carry a few extra pounds and love our reality TV. (I happily admit to enjoying a serious addiction to Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, Kimora Lee Simmons: Life in the Fab Lane, and even Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Happily.) I've been part of Francophile discussion groups where the conversation occasionally veered towards the downright vicious and cruel, with participants taking delight in bashing women whose photographs they found elsewhere on the Internet and who they felt "lacked class" or sophistication, simply because they committed the horrible sin of, say, combining a blue top with a brown bottom. Quelle horreur!

I'm Francophile for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the example they set as thinking creatures with loads of self-confidence and an unswerving faith in themselves as women. That, we could use more of. French women are also known for disliking other women, considering them as rivals rather than as allies, and that's where I diverge from their outlook. I can think of a number of ways that we American girls are head-and-shoulders above our French sisters, and that's Numero Uno: our sorority, our natural sisterhood, our desire to support each other.

Yeah, as I found when I occasionally dipped into the dangerous waters of American Francophilia, we do have our weird moments when we betray and backbite and engage in petty gossip about each other (my biggest "rival" when I was growing up wasn't Mark Hollon, the freckled kid in 5th grade with whom I always seemed to be neck-and neck in terms of test results and grade reports, but rather my cousin Marizen, who was thinner and had thicker hair and had an amazing talent for dancing), and that's a terrible shame. Since when has it been considered "classy" to insult other women simply because of their choice of dress? I know I would never be mistaken for a stylist or a Vogue model, but unless I stumble into the neighborhood coffee shop with my hair in curlers and my feet shod in hole-y moccasins, surely I deserve better than a verbal tongue-lashing just because my T-shirt is looking a little worn? (Not that I would ever be seen out of the house in anything less than a neat, fitted T-shirt!) And even the sister who does stumble into the neighborhood coffee shop with her hair in curlers and her feet shod in hole-y moccasins should receive some consideration. She may be homeless, mentally ill, or is simply having a really nasty day. We've all had it. We may be French or American or Armenian, but underneath we're all human.

(Tangent: My worst day ever? When I took B. to work one morning a year or so ago. It was a really dark, freezing winter morning, it was 6:15, it was the middle of December. Get the picture? I shrugged on my winter coat over my pyjamas, pulled on some socks, slipped into flip-flops, and drove him to the hospital, a mere two miles away. Unfortunately, we underestimated how badly iced the roads were -- this was Colorado, after all -- and I skidded twice on the short drive there. It was so bad that I ended up having to hang out in B.'s office for the next two hours until the city was able to clear and salt the roads. Moral of the story: doesn't matter if you don't think you'll be stepping out of your car for whatever short errand you're running, or how dark it may be outside. At least put on a bloody shirt and pants! Thank God it was a hospital -- in my pyjamas I at least blended fairly well.)

Thankfully, however, when all is said and done, most of us American gals would probably readily admit that our girlfriends matter to us more than all of our erstwhile boyfriends and husbands put together. (And Marizen and I are now very close, thank God. In fact, I'm the godmother of her oldest daughter. Love ya, Julia!) And yes, that even at our worst, we love each other and will be the first to cheer each other on.

While My Inner French Girl inspires me to read more, think more, dress better, believe in myself, eat more healthfully, and age more gracefully, the glorious, hyperactive, super-ambitious, girlfriend-seeking, girlfriend-loving, and reality-show-addicted American in me encourages me to forge my own destiny, indulge in the silly as well as the serious, laugh out loud when the moment calls for it (especially when my husband is around, as he more than anyone makes me laugh like a hyena), cry when the emotions overwhelm me, and -- most importantly -- laugh at myself as often as possible.

If I could wish anything for my American sisters, it would be that they have faith in themselves and to trust in the innate wisdom and joy of being a woman. If I could wish anything for my French sisters, it would be that they let their guard down more, embrace their girlfriends, and really sink their teeth into all that's delicious in life. Be greedy, by free, even be a little reckless now and then. I promise it won't hurt.

And again, more American women who I think epitomize the style and sophistication of our French sisters:

  • Natalie Portman -- Merci mille to a brown-eyed grrl and Giulia for reminding me! Duh. How could I forget La Portman?
  • Oprah Winfrey -- My hero! Thanks to J for also reminding me of this awesome American icon. I've been a huge fan of Ms. Winfrey for years, not just of her show but also of her business acumen and intellectual as well as emotional intelligence. Does anyone remember that show that she did a few years ago that featured the New Mexico cleaning woman who was so moved by a report about a mother's devastating loss in South Africa that she began sending said woman $100 a month to support her and her kids? I still tear up thinking about it.
  • Susan Sarandon
  • Geena Davis
  • Goldie Hawn
  • Condoleeza Rice
  • Desiree Rogers (the new White House social secretary)
  • Kate Lehrer (Jim Lehrer's wife, author, and one of the nicest celebrities I've ever had the privilege to meet)
  • Queen Latifah
  • Marisa de los Santos (New York Times bestselling author)
  • Sarah Jessica Parker
  • Kate Vernon (actress)
  • Gloria Steinem
  • Beyonce
  • Irene Natividad (activist, women's movement leader)
  • Tracy Pollan
  • Norah Jones
  • Mandy Moore
Can you think of more? My head is spinning with all the possibilities.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Brains over beauty

One of the things that frustrate me so much about so many Francophile books is their oft-repeated depiction of French women as being nothing more than the sum of their very expensive Chanel and Hermes accessories. To be French, apparently, is to be so self-absorbed, so focused on one's looks and dress, that everything else is secondary. One must know the entire history of the LVMH conglomerate and all the different brands nestled under that elegant roof in order to be considered a card-carrying member of the Francophile mafia. Shop at Wal-Mart? Wear white cotton panties? Sport a Timex watch? Maybe carry a few extra pounds on you? You don't belong in this community, thank you very much, and God forbid you should have an opinion that doesn't adhere to the standard texts.

Yes, French women do have a well-deserved reputation for the paramount importance that they put on appearances, but many forget that they also enjoy a very long legacy of intellectualism and activism. French feminists -- not just Simone de Beauvoir of the 20th century but also luminaries dating back to the French Revolution, such as Pauline Leon and Olympe de Gouges -- heavily influenced the women's movement in Britain and the United States. Indeed, de Beauvoir's books, particularly The Second Sex, continues to be taught at the university-level, not just in so-called feminist theory classes but in philosophy classes as well. She's often mentioned in the same breath as her partner, Jean Paul Sartre, but de Beauvoir enjoys a well-deserved reputation in her own right as an original thinker and fierce activist for her beliefs.

I tire of reading books by authors who shall remain nameless who believe that the easiest and fastest way of imitating one's French sisters is to throw on an Hermes scarf, tied just so, apply Chanel Rouge lipstick, wear a striped, boat-neck T-shirt a la Jean Seberg, and carry a Chanel bag. It's a heavily materialistic -- not to mention highly oversimplified -- vision of the French woman as mannequin rather than as a complex and thinking human being. Even Helena Frith Powell, who wrote the frothy, breezy book, All You Need to be Impossibly French, concedes that the French women she encountered were far more well-read than she and her English and American sisters. They came to her book club to actually -- gasp! -- discuss books, not engage in celebrity gossip or trade beauty secrets (not that French women would exchange beauty secrets in any forum, but I digress). Women do need a place in which they can let their hair down, so to speak, to be utterly silly and frivolous and to bond with one another in that wonderful, intimate, easy way we do, but surely that doesn't mean sacrificing our brains, too?

I do think that French woman derive their innate charm and stylishness -- for whatever their worth -- not at all because of what they wear, but because of what they think. We like to believe that French women are what they are because of the way they dress, but think back on the many articles and books deconstructing their allure and remember how they're described. How many times have you read a variation of this sentence: "They can take the same scarf that you can find in any woman's closet and yet look incredibly elegant and chic!"

But surely that's not fashion, but rather intelligence. They're thinking beings who create the person they want to be, not simply through their dress but also their hobbies, careers, lovers, homes, cars. They see fashion as art, not just as dressing, and treat it as such, studying it and contemplating it and how it relates to their individual lives.

We believe that style and substance are wholly separate, and that we must choose between one or the other, but they believe that you cannot have style without substance, and vice versa. Imitating them involves not just a trip to Hermes (or at all), but to the bookshop, the museum and perhaps the local university as well. The most enduring women (Virginia Woolf, Colette, Meryl Streep, Audrey Hepburn, Marie Antoinette, to name a few) in history are those whose appeal extend beyond their physical attributes and instead are enriched with their formidable creative and intellectual talents.

Perhaps I'm oversimplifying them as well, but the French women I admire the most and who I want to emulate as My Inner French Girl are those who engage the world completely, not just in how I dress and accessorize (because frankly, most of the time I wear nice, neat T-shirts and dark jeans and call it a day), but also in how I think.

Some American women whom I feel epitomize the ideal of style and substance, of art and intellect:

  • Michelle Obama (natch)
  • Brooke Shields
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Anne Bancroft
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Chelsea Clinton
  • Ivanka Trump (yep, I said it)
  • Jessica Valenti (author, activist)
  • Amy Richards (author, activist)
  • Sheryl Crow
  • Rachel Maddow
  • Salma Hayek
  • Tina Fey
  • Mellody Hobson
  • Helen Greiner
  • Sandra Tsing Loh
  • Josie Natori
  • Amy Tan
  • Meredith Viera
I can think of tons more, but I'd love to know your thoughts. Among American women today, who do you think best epitomizes grace, style and intelligence? Inquiring minds want to know!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson, 1958-2009

Rest in peace, Michael. We loved you and will always remember you as a brilliant, consummate artist and entertainer.